If you want the circumstances of your life to be different, then you are going to have to be the one to change them. Change is tough, real change rarely happens. We can get used to living within a certain amount of sadness, scared to move on through fear. Fear of change, fear of losing our equilibrium, fear of losing what we have invested. We have to take a leap of faith that what is beyond the fear is bigger and better than we could imagine.

Pain and grief can be a great motivator for change. Especially when our own cognitive dissonance can no longer accept where we are in life and knows a change must be made.

How do we make a change though? First step is to look at what is making us unhappy? It could be a relationship, a thought pattern, our job or that our life no longer feels worthwhile or fulfilling.

Then we look at how we can resolve this; End the relationship, go to therapy for it. Change our job or career. Learn more about our thought patterns. There are endless ways we can alone make positive changes to our lives.

Through mediation, mindfulness, life coaching, talk therapies, reading taking time for ourselves. The list goes on.

The most important step in all of this however, is the third step, which is DOING THE WORK! None of the stuff above means shit, if you do not actively instil change in yourself. Which is the hardest challenge of all.

Change feels scary, unfamiliar, lonely and uncomfortable. It challenges your life uptil that point and can often feel like free falling off a cliff without a safety harness, not being able to see the bottom because of the clouds.

Your mind WILL fight you. it will make you believe you are being silly making changes. It may cause you strange bodily sensations like heart palpitations and anxiety, tight muscles and lack or even increase in appetite.

When this happens though, its your signal that you are on the right path and once past the discomfort, if we can allow these FEELINGS to be there, you will breakthrough.

I have changes in my life time and time again, when things haven’t been working. Sometimes i have chosen change. Sometimes change was thrust upon me and i had no choice but to go with it. I have felt lost and alienated from everyone, i have felt huge pressure that made me feel like i was being torn into pieces. Like my body was not my own. Throughout this though, something deep inside my gut was screaming – This is the correct path.

At first you won’t trust that feeling, because for the longest time you have ignored your gut. You have quietened it and ignored it and forgot that your instincts are greater than you realise. You have learned to override that what keeps you safe and have chosen to stay stuck in a place you have outgrown.

Then, slowly, you will start to listen to that gut feeling, the familiarity of the sensation will return and you will start to realise how detached you have been from your body and once again you will gain trust in your innate ability to know what to do and how to do it.

Sometimes we need reminding or support through therapy, sometimes you are able to connect back to yourself naturally once you decide upon change.

However you come to that realisation, its the first steps to achieving any and all goals you set and finding a way out of lesser life circumstances to a place where you are in control once again.

Where you build new foundations, so that everything else sits perfectly and should the need arise, can be swapped out without everything else falling apart with it. This is what i offer with my therapies, a helping hand to build a foundation that sturdy, so everything on top of that is safe and secure and most of all you are once again able to move forward making positive life changes.